Less is More: Rethinking Extra-Curricular Activities this school year
As busy, Type A mums living in the vibrant hustle of Asia, especially in a fast-paced city like Hong Kong, we often find ourselves caught in a whirlwind of activities. Our schedules are filled with work commitments, family obligations, and the constant drive to provide our children with the best opportunities. In our quest to help our kids thrive, we often believe that more extracurricular activities (ECAs) will lead to greater success. But what if I told you that less can actually be more (with regards to structured extracurricular activities) when it comes to our children’s well-being, allowing time for more free play?
How else are they going to stand out in a sea of applications for those elite schools and universities?
The pressure to be an “all rounder”
In today’s competitive environment, it’s easy to feel the pressure to enroll our children in every possible ECA. From music lessons to sports teams, language classes to art workshops, the options are endless. We want our children to excel, to be well-rounded, and to build impressive resumes from a young age. However, this pursuit often leaves little room for downtime, reflection, play, to enjoy the simple joys of childhood.
As a psychotherapist and parent coach, I’ve worked with many families who share this common struggle. Parents come to me feeling overwhelmed, believing that if their children aren’t productive and engaged, they’re missing out on crucial developmental experiences. But the truth is, the quest for enrichment can sometimes lead to burnout—not just for our children, but for us as parents too.
Let’s reframe this: An idle mind isn’t a devil’s workshop. It is the canvas for creativity, reflection, and purpose.
The impact of over-schedulding
Research has shown that over-scheduling can lead to increased stress and anxiety in children. When kids are constantly on the go, they have little time to unwind, explore their true interests, or simply be (remember, school and activities can be performative). This relentless pace can create a sense of pressure that stifles creativity, emotion processing, and social and emotional growth.
It is no surprise that anxiety, burnout, and depression even among children and youth is on the rise.
Moreover, the constant rush from one activity to another often comes at the cost of sacrificing meaningful family time. Shared meals, spontaneous outings, quiet evenings with board games and heart to heart conversations at home can become rare occurrences when our calendars are packed.
It essential to recognise that connection and belonging within the family unit is crucial for children’s emotional well-being.
Embracing the power of less (structured activities)
So, how do we shift the narrative from “more is better” to “less is more”? Here are some guiding principles to consider as we navigate this new school year:
1. Prioritise Quality over Quantity
Instead of enrolling our children in multiple ECAs, focus on a few that truly resonate with their interests and passions. This approach allows them to dive deeper into their chosen activities, fostering a sense of mastery and enjoyment rather than mere participation.
Remember, this is not our opportunity to live vicariously through our child.
2. Create space and time for free play:
Can you believe we have actually written this? Free play has to be STRUCTURED? But yes, it is their LANGUAGE! Modern living has ripped this innate way of being from our children.
Free play is essential for a child’s development. It encourages creativity, problem-solving, and social skills. By allowing for unstructured time, we offer our children the opportunity to explore their interests freely, without the constraints of scheduled activities. This can be as simple as allowing them to play at the local park or playground, read a book, or engage in imaginative (screen-free) play at home.
3. Foster Emotional Awareness
Encouraging our children to express their feelings and thoughts about their school, friendships, activities and workload can be incredibly beneficial. Ask them how they feel about their current commitments and whether they enjoy them. This practice not only promotes emotional awareness but also empowers them to make choices that align with their interests. Playing games such as “high, low, what do you know” allows for playful sharing of the wins, the challenges and learning that took place during the day.
4. Model Balance
As parents, we set the tone for our family dynamics. If we are constantly stressed and over-scheduled, rushing from task to task, our children will likely mirror those behaviours. Strive to model balance in your own life by prioritising self-care, setting boundaries, and nurturing your own interests. When your children see you valuing downtime and self-care, they will be more likely to embrace these practices as a lifestyle.
5. Emphasize connection
Let us make it a priority to create micro-moments of connection with our children and with each other. Family dinners, game nights, or simply taking a walk together can strengthen family bonds and provide a safe space for open communication. These shared experiences are invaluable and often lead to deeper conversations about feelings, aspirations, and struggles.
Will you join us in moving forward with intention this school year?
As we embark on this new school year, let us shift our focus from the number of activities to the quality of experiences we enjoy. Embrace the idea that it is okay to say no to certain commitments in favour of nurturing our child’s well-being.
- What can I say no to this school year?
- If a school year seems too far-fetched, what can we “drop” even just THIS TERM?
- Is there something that elicits whines, complaints, and resistance regularly?
- What will giving up something they really do not enjoy make room for?
- How can I bring back free play more? Perhaps a day off structured activities and a trip to the local playground?
Remember, you are not alone in this journey. Many parents are feeling the same pressures, and together, we can foster a culture that values balance, connection, and emotional health. Let us support one another in creating an environment where our children can thrive—not just academically, but emotionally and socially also.
Less truly can be more, and by embracing this mindset, we can pave the way for healthier, happier childhoods.
In simplifying your child’s routines, you are giving them the opportunity to enjoy the magic of childhood.
Written by Lisel Varley
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